Marriage is a union of a man and woman for life. This comes to us by the hand of God as He says in Genesis 2: 18-25, “And the Lord God said, not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.
When girls are little, their lifelong dream is to be a princess and walk down the aisle by her Daddy’s arm. Almost every little girl and teenager dreams of their wedding since an early age. As children grow older, they see many broken homes and divorced parents within family, friends and neighbors. Sadly this happens way too often and now divorce rate is as high as 40 percent.
I am not writing this to teach you about marriage. I am the last person who can do that. I simply want to help young people looking to marry or young couples in your marriage to view Marriage as something so sacred and beautiful. To tell you what I wish someone would have told me. I thought being married was like in soap operas! All romance! Boy was I wrong! I have a beautiful example of marriage in my parents who just celebrated 47 years of marriage. However, my Mama was always so quiet in giving us marital advice. They thought I was rather young to get married. We are so lucky to have had their living example of being married through the thick and thin.
Marriage is difficult, yet we must view it realistically. There will be difficult moments in your marriage. When marriage becomes difficult, it is like a storm, scary and dangerous. However, in a storm, you keep driving. Difficulty and crises in marriages come, but in pain and suffering, great marriages are produced.
My marriage is no where near perfect. We have made mistakes, been through difficult moments and yet still loving each other very much. We have learned so much with one another. We grew up with totally different backgrounds. My husband had a very hard life growing up with a big family and his father gone most of the time. Yet, my family was small and my parents were always with us. Two different people, coming from different family situations and having different perspectives was tough to adapt. As years went by, our children came and then our focus was to our children. We both have always worked since we were very young. We had to both work full time jobs, pay bills and raise our children. As with all families, this is no easy task. Yet, thanks to our Almighty God, we have made it work. We firmly believe that our Lord has guided us through our marriage! Without Him, we would not have made it.
Today, we are celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary. We would have not been able to make it this far without our God almighty’s guidance. In honor of this, I wanted to share my 24 personal reminders that have helped me become a better wife. Believe me, it is hard, but not impossible. I would be no where today if it wasn’t for the grace of God.
Again, I do not have a perfect marriage. These reminders that I share with you are only what I have learned in my personal experience with my husband. You have to work daily towards your marriage. It doesn’t just happen by itself. But don’t forget, all the work is so worth it!
Before I share my list, I want to emphasize my most valuable and important tip that I have done since day one of being married…….PRAY for my husband. I can honestly tell you that there is no day in my married life that goes by without me praying to God for him. There is no secret to being together for so long other than God’s infinite love for us. When you, as a wife, pray for your husband, God hears you. I am a living testimony that God answers wives’ prayers towards her husband!
- Hush and PRAY!
- RESPECT spouse (I cannot emphasis this enough)
- Admire him/her
- Compliment your spouse every day!
- DONT try and change him/her (pray to God to change yourself)
- Prioritize your spouse – spouse comes first
- Never talk negative about him/her to anyone
- Communicate – know your spouse’s love language
- Focus on strengths
- Be a good listener
- Laugh together
- Hold hands
- Tell spouse thank you, please, etc.
- Comment on how handsome/pretty they look
- Go on weekly dates (no kids)
- Forget pride; apologize when you are wrong
- Be patient
- Before you get mad, take a long three second deep breath!
- Give your spouse your full attention, look deeply in their eyes
- Flirt with spouse (send texts while at work, etc)
- Do the little things
- Be mindful in overspending – financial stress destroys romance
- Sleep with spouse (never ever sleep in separate beds or rooms!)
- Spoil spouse (cook favorite meal, iron clothes, play their favorite sport, etc)
Here are some of our pictures throughout these years:
Let me share with you my question to my beautiful Mama on her marriage. In my parent’s 45 wedding anniversary, I asked my Mama what was her secret of being married to my Papa all these years? She firmly said, “Treat him like a King!” And let me tell you, he is spoiled by her. I asked my Papa what his secret was of being married with my Mama all this time and he said, “be very patient”. And my Papa is my favorite man & hero on this Earth! I love them so much!
If you are reading this, I wish you a happy marriage! Being happily married is a divine gift from God and a real blessing. Don’t take marriage lightly. Us, as wives must do what the Lord says and be of help to our husbands, Genesis 2:18.
Here, I have included a free printout for you to print, frame and be reminded to do these beautiful acts of kindness towards your husband: Marriage Reminders. Here are some pictures of us through the years.